*** INDIGESTION WATCH FOR THURSDAY *** 
*** BELLY ACHE ADVISORY FOR THURSDAY NIGHT *** 

TODAY: CONSIDERABLE AMOUNTS OF TURKEY WILL DEVELOP 
BY AFTERNOON, WITH AVERAGE TEMPERATURES OF 
BETWEEN 350 TO 400 DEGREES. A HEAVY ACCUMULATION 
OF CRANBERRY SAUCE AND STUFFING WILL LIKELY 
ACCOMPANY THE TURKEY BY LATE IN THE DAY. PROBABILITY 
OF FOOTBALL GAMES WILL RISE TO 100 PERCENT THIS 
AFTERNOON. 

TONIGHT: RESIDUAL SWEET AND MASHED POTATOES, ALONG 
WITH A FLOOD OF GRAVY . . . ESPECIALLY IN POOR DRAINAGE 
AREAS. PROBABILITY OF FOOTBALL GAMES WILL DIMINISH TO 
NEAR ZERO BY EVENING. 

TOMORROW: A LONG FRONTAL LINE IS EXPECTED TO STALL IN 
THE VICINITY OF MOST DEPARTMENT STORES AND SHOPPING 
CENTERS. STILL A GOOD CHANCE OF LINGERING TURKEY OR 
ISOLATED STUFFING. 

SATURDAY: RESIDUAL TURKEY ACCOMPANIED BY DRIFTING 
AREAS OF MAYONASE IN SOME SPOTS. 

LONG RANGE OUTLOOK FOR SUNDAY: STILL A CHANCE OF SOME 
LEFTOVER TURKEY, ACCOMPANIED ONCE AGAIN BY AN 
INCREASING RISK OF FOOTBALL. 

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! :)